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Ah, another jolly good week in the life of Constanze has occurred. I went to clinic and everything was completely bueno, for the first time ever I looked at the screen and ALL OF MY BLOODS WERE AT NORMAL LEVELS! There wasn't a single thing in red! Which is all very confusing as we all know how exhausted I've been for the past few weeks. That might be passing now though as I've had a lovely quiet weekend, moving only to eat and turn pages and press buttons on my keyboard. I also went to see Mindless Self Indulgence play in Manchester which I always find to be a wonderfully energising and motivational experience, they never fail to make me smile. So I'll be going into next week with a big creepy grin on my face :) La vida es buena!

But yeah, I saw the legend that is Dr Snowdon, the backbone of Sheffield haematology. Which is always the best because he's the doctor who has been there from day one, watching me morph from this silly teenager into this silly adult while having my little old wrestle with little old cancer. It's weird how I've been a patient my whole adult life. I mean, I've always been something else predominantly, physicist then philatelist but the adult Constanze has known nothing but the funny bloodz. I wonder where I'd be in the world right now if all this hadn't happened... Actually, thinking about it I imagine I'd be much the same. But with less exciting gruesome stories. So really it's all been for the best. Like when you lose a finger opening a can of spaghetti.

My lady parts are still causing all of the confusion as no one is really sure about the whole HAS CONSTANZE MENOPAUSED OR ANTIMENOPAUSED STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT IN NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF PERSONAL MEDICAL PROBLEMS YOU SHOULDN'T POST ON THE INTERNET. I've still only had that one period. Just the one. The one mysterious period, it came and went like my mum trying to use a revolving door. They said my periods would be irregular now I'm antimenopaused but I think waiting for a second one for three months seems a little excessive. Either that or I've been impregnated by the ghost of Christmas past. I'm really excited about having the special coil thing fitted, I am absolutely determined to get some form of photo. I'd obviously never post a picture of the outside of my lady parts on here, but is the cervix ok? Is that x-rated? ARE CERVIXES RUDE? I have literally no idea where sexy ends and medical begins... I don't think I want to put my cervix on the internet. Maybe I'll draw you a picture.

The only negative thing was how much I weighed, just ten stone four. Pretty disturbing. I'm going to have to stop fannying around and get me some kilos on my booty, I'd ideally like to be up to about 11 stone. Partially because I like my figure at that weight (not that there's anything wrong with me now, my body is DAYUM FINEEE) and partially because I always like to have some spare junk in the trunk. Being on the larger side of thin saved my life when I was first diagnosed. And Mr Relapse could be hiding around any corner!

I also had an embarrassing incident at the train station on my way back to GLAMOROUS STOCKPORT. Basically this pigeon came and stood in front of me and wouldn't move. I was eating Smarties so I presumed he wanted one but chocolate is poisonous to birds so I spent a while talking to him and explaining that pigeons don't like Smarties. I noticed the lady next to me seemed a bit on edge but kind of ignored it, next thing I know she's talking to station security and pointing at me... So now talking to the pigeons makes you an international terrorist?! I give up.

Ahhh. This weekend really has done me the world of good. I haven't had the shakes for over 48 hours now. Talk about a birdddddddd! Counting all the ripples on the seeeeaaaaaaa!

Bathtime now. That's another thing I've been doing this weekend, boiling myself stupid in million degree baths. I'm the world's most relaxed lobster. Haute cuistanze.

Au revoir!

Constanleyknife xXxXx

P.s I like stamps. And pickled onion crisps. And Wednesdays and running around on grass in the rain.