Live Like You're Terminal

Soooooo. I just had a very rude person be somewhat angry at me for some logic/choices I'm currently making in my life and I need to vent a little. Not that I'm especially annoyed, they're an ignorant person in general so it's more sympathy than annoyance, people are badgers in bags. But anyway, it all began with a conversation between me and some other people and me explaining my current attitude to 'health'. As we know I'm not a beacon of health, both in terms of cancer and my lifestyle. I eat a lot of vegetables/fruit/etc but I also eat a lot of crap too (mmm, delicious crap). I just eat a lot of everything. See lists below:

Really unhealthy things I eat too much/many of

*CHEESE MOTHERFUCKING CHEESE
*CRISPS MOTHERFUCKING CRISPS
*Sour sweets. Burn those intestines away.
*Dark chocolate. A little is good. A LOT IS BAD.
*Party rings. All of life is a party.
*DEAD ANIMALS MASSIVE STEAKS SAUSAGES RACKS OF RIBS ALL OF THEM DEAD ON MY PLATE

Really unhealthy things I can resist because I'm not that fond of them

*Cake. Too sickly. Yawn.
*Milk/white chocolate. Also too sickly. Extra yawn.

I'm of the opinion that I don't really care about the fact I don't eat extremely healthily at the moment, at least not while I'm stuck in this kind of limbo area. If I don't live past 30 then I don't want to look back and ever regret saying no thanks to a giant medium rare steak, I don't want to lie on my deathbed and lament the lack of cheese in my life. My future is very uncertain, I could live to 100 but I could just as easily struggle to make it to 24 (it's only 8 days until my 23rd birthday so I'm totally banking on making it there). It's like when people ask me if I'm worried about what my tattoos will look like when I'm old it's like for fuck's sake stop worrying about the future and everything you might die tomorrow I might die tomorrow if you make all these plans for the next 30 years you miss everything that's happening now you stupid cunts. What the hell is with this five year plan bullshit? Life never runs to any form of plan, accept it. I had a plan, a plan to study physics, get a degree, be a medical physicist and live in Poland. Where am I now? I'm a philatelist in fucking Stockport. Oh, me and my "everyone else hasn't had cancer so they have a weird perspective" problems.

... I'm rambling, back to the point, sorry...

The person that annoyed me was saying I was being stupid and pessimistic having these views. I don't think they're pessimistic at all, I think they're realistic with a hint of optimism. I'm hoping and planning to make the best situation for myself however things may work out healthwise. If I stay ill I eat a lot of cheese. If I become totally cured I somehow learn to enjoy exercise. Sorted.

However, if I was ever given the complete all clear then this would be very different, I would seriously clean up my act and aim to be healthier. Having had a 'bad luck' cancer I sure as hell don't want to set myself up for a lifestyle related cancer. That's in the future though, and we all know what I think about the future :D

Rant over. You can all go back to the fields of bunny rabbits and butterflies.

Constanzistanzistan :) xXx

P.s I'm going to be 23 soon. How crazy is that?