Cancers in high places

Aiii!

Hola mis amigos, nine days without a post, what an absoulte travesty, my deepest apologies. I'm just so runny abouty that words forget to come out of my legs and sheep and mouth and ears. I'm here now though but feeling awfully queasy so if this post turns green at any given moment you know why. Oopsydaisystomachizlazy. I think this post would be much better if I wrote it in comprehensible sentences, I just reread what I wrote and it's very jerky, not like a beef jerky though because eating computers is somewhat poisonous. Fact.

Anyway, what a week it's been. At the end of last week I went to the opening party of the new haemotology day room for all us young deformed blood types. There were cupcakes and ribbons and wonky artwork and all the things you'd expect from a beautiful new room updated on a shoestring budget. I was supposed to make a film for jimmyteens about the 10th anniversary ball last weekend but I got distracted by this and that and chicken kievs and then felt bad and then tipsily promised to make a film of this opening instead. And I did except the film is really rubbish and I thought the bit about gurning at the end would help but it didn't and now all we're left with is this very mediocre film with really damn fucking good music. It's in two places now, should you wish to view it you can find it at the links below (but don't, it's so shit that you'll probably cry with boredom)(but do really or I'll be sad that no one watched it):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz0RTebikGE

http://jimmyteens.tv/2012/09/17/sheffield-royal-hallamshire-o-floor-tct-room-opening

Dear christ I am an embarassment to cancer sometimes. But yeah, it was fun, I talked to many people, both important and confused. I had a nice long chat with the guy who's in charge of the Sheffield Teaching Hospitals charitable donations budget (although I didn't find out until the end, would have probably sworn quite a bit less and done some more bigging up of the HAEMOTOLOGY CAUSE BOOYA has I have known) and told him all about how rubbish the haemo area used to be before they started chucking a bit of money our way. I also had a brief talk with this guy who works for the hospital magazine newsletter thing and told him some stuff to put in his article maybe and then had my photos taken by a woman and talked to her about my 'story' and all that jazzle and I might get to be in a HOSPITAL RELATED LEAFLET HOW EXCITING. I've never been in a leaflet before. Usually because leaflets are informative and all the things I say are absolutely stupid odes to deep fried food.

And the next step in my wonderful, sexy, cancery world? BONE MARROW EXTRACTION! You know, the old fave, stick a needle in your hip and snap suck away. And then about a week later we'll know if anything exciting is going on. I really do need to get a photo of me having one, I know I've been promising since the dinosaurs brushed their teeth but I actually will this time, gory pictures are what I live for. But yeah, half past one on Monday, I'll be there, lying down, back and bum hanging singing Christmas songs to distract me from the fact that local anaesthetic can't anaesthetise bone. Extractions aren't actually that risky though, they're only very painful and the only thing that can really go wrong is excessive bleeding and as I don't have any blood that shouldn't be a problem? BAD SCIENCE LOGIC, IGNORE THE OXFORD PHYSICIST KIDS.

Now it's Russian garlic crisps time, just to make myself that little bit more attractive. OH YEAH SEXY CONSTANZE. I've used a lot of capital letters in this post, I think I'm a bit giddy with excitement about the prospect of having my first corn dog tomorow!

Bye de bye bye bye bye see yargh,
Constanze the Great, the Slightly Hungry and Confused :)

P.s As regards the tattoo, I've really gone off the idea of clavicle even though everyone seems to be voting for it, mainly because I want to save that area for a big sexy tattoo then I'm older maybe, I DON'T KNOW AND IT'S IN TWO DAYS, I'm nearly sure I want it on my thumb, it's a very exciting mystery and you'll all have to cross your fingers that I don't panic and end up with it on my forehead.