Thunder and rain, I'm rambling again

Merry Tuesday to everyone, I've just got back from my three night holiday of superfun and much much much tiredness and leg destruction so expect general extremely boring carnage in this post. Check out the photo of me above, I love it, I look so cute and sweet and like butter wouldn't melt. And now below there's a picture to completely ruin that. I was posing here to prove that I no longer have any problems maintaining a healthy weight, I am still the perfect 100% fat arsed human that thin Constanze always dreamed of being. Well, very thin Constanze. I'm still thin. Well, parts of me are. Thin arms, thin waist, thin legs, thin chest (does that make sense?). Then a great big lovely fat arse the size of Nicky Minaj and Beyonce's put together and multiplied by ten million. I definitely talk about my arse far too much for someone who's trying to project an air of class and decorum. Actually, no, scrap that, weight problems are often one of the worst parts of cancer. I'm just very overjoyed to not weight seven stone something anymore :)

But anyway, I won't do one of my extremely coma inducing posts about absolutely completely everything that happened in a somewhat debateable order because I am tired and just want to drink tea and why did I eat so much fish and chips and my insides are blue from all the slush and ergh too much fun means much pain later. I did so much walking that I actually cried with pain, nothing comes between me and Laser Quest though, despite having not been for over three years and being slightly unable to walk and also being in heels and a pencil skirt I still managed to come fourth out of fifteen. I might try and get back into Laser Quest as a way to get a bit fitter. That is if it doesn't kill me first.

I had lots of fun though despite the usual tiredness and crappy legs, I met some seals and was sexually harassed by a butterfly and won a Super Mario soft toy and some Toy Story marbles (which I then gave to a random little boy because I don't really like Toy Story, he seemed happy and confused so all is good) and I also ate a lot of deep fried foods. And I went in the sea and a thunderstorm hit and it was all very amazing, swimming and watching the lightning in the distance and then I got some more food and the food got rained on a lot and turned into soup. This is me with the storm in the distance being sucked into a terrifying vortex of thunder and wind-

Holidays are fun. Especially when they involve Skegness. But I should be off now, everyone in the universe has sent me an email and I need to reply and whatnot.There are rumours of some work experience in the air, some antiques company in London thinks I look just about bearable. Which is very good but also I ONLY REALLY KNOW ABOUT STAMPS antiques are not my strong point I know a bit but not a lot MINOR PANIC everything will be ok because in the words of one of my A level teachers I'm like a sponge hopefully they will sell entirely Bavarian porcelain and I'll be fine because I am the German souvenir teacup queen and I need to end this completely unpunctuated sentence before the grammar Nazis bomb my face.

But please do enjoy one last photo of me gurning while texting. I am the most beautiful cancer patient that ever did live, it does had to be saided, does it does. Today I am excited about the real world because a plastic fortune teller in a glass box told me my aura is yellow which means I have high intellectual power and proper good language skills so I am obviously very employable (just to clarify obviously all fortune telling is rather bullshitty UNLESS it's from the Mystic Machine on Skegness Pier). Bye bye bye bye bye!

Constanzness :)