How I spent my Cancerversary by Constanze Age 21 and 3/4

Evening or morning or something else to you all folks!

I am quite DRUGGED UP (YAY TRAMADOL AND THAT FUNNY NEW DRUG AND ANOTHER EXTRA DRUG THAT I FORGOT THE NAME OF IT'S 1AM HOW DID THAT HAPPEN) and I keep typing things that don't make sense so this post might not make sense so sorry about that, you can send all your complaints to constanzeyou'reamental@hotmail.com then put them up your bum maybe. Yesterday was the famous Amazing Anniversary Of Constanze's Obtainment Of Cancer Which Is Good As She's Not Dead Day but sadly the celebrations were not as grandiose as previous annos porque I was still all shinglesed up and really not very with it whaddup. So I took photos of over 1000 postcards which is what I do for fun because I'm AMAZING and not a boring person, I'm a very interesting person with hobbies that everyone else thinks is boring because they all like running around in their pants. Which is all well and good until you get frostbite!

Anyway, yeah, the celebrations are postponed until a day when I can move my neck. What the hell is wrong with my neck? All the pain has moved into one very specific spot which is ODD and WEIRD and it's sensitive in a weird way like a crying rugby player. WHALES WHALES WHALES. WHALES OR WALES. WHALES. Parts of my rash are now scabbed over with delightful black and red scabs, I could be in some sick porno, it's so damned peculiar, there's one sore that seems to have eaten into my skin and become disturbingly concave, as people used to say about my tits when I was at school, you could eat cereal out of it! If you're wondering they said they were so flat that they were inverted but only nice people said that for laughs and I said mean things back and that's what makes FRIENDS. If you can't insult the fuck out of them then they're not a friend!

I am feeling a bit better now though admittedly, all the drugs are starting to work their lovely magic. The current CHAOS WOOOOSH BANG WRITING is all because I'm a) full of drugs and b) so tired that I don't know if doors go on walls or ceilings and c) I never knew there could be so many parts of a body that hurt at once, how many nerves do I have? and d) I bought this weird drink in B&M bargains and now I can't shut my eyes and e) I keep hearing rain but there isn't any.

I have to go and make schlafentimes now and dream about all the realy strange and mundane things that only I dream about and make plans and more plans and more plans and I'm going to buy and sell some more stamps and postcards to do something productive I think because I am the philately queen since I was just 15 I've been on the scene of selling stamps pristene I know what I mean when I say PHQs are reem with my albums I'm seen I've got a big dollar machin like you wouldn't beliiieve. WHEN I START MAKING PHILATELY RAPS THAT'S WHEN I KNOW I NEED TO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO TO BED!

Constanzistanzistanzistantinoplestanze :D xXxXxXxXx

P.s Tattoo is now in two weeks. Delayed celebrations will now happen after shingles shoo away. I am such a planning genius!

P.p.s A spider ran across my face and arm and nearly went up my nose earlier, I had to catch him and tell him that's no way to behave, there are evil people out there who will kill you if you do things like that! I really don't do necking on the first date Mr Spider and hiding and jumping out of a towel isn't the best way to impress, have some decorum my dear. Spiders are lovely :)

P.p.p.s I just reread this post and I think I've lost the plot. I'll find it again in the morning. Hopefully :)

P.p.p.p.s Someone with cancer who I didn't now who did a good blog died yesterday so general peace resting to him, may heaven provide you with infinite crisps and elastic bands and whatever you'd like. Bowel cancer is one mean motherfucker. Another one of those days when me being the luckiest girl in the world is reinforced :)