Eurokaemia!!!

Good morning folks (I just realised it will actually be the evening when I post this- I’m on me laptop at me gran’s, an internetless black hole) on the saddest day of the year- the day after Eurovision. That’s right, today is the day furthest away from another Eurovision. 364 days to go. 364 long long days. Not to mention the 364 long long long nights. For god’s sake, I only managed one line of writing before I mentioned Eurovision. I think my Eurovision fever is around ten times worse than the leukaemia ever was....

Not much news on the cancer front. Had nebuliser number 289389348947944, per usual I shook like a leaf for a good hour afterwards and pulled all of my arm muscles in the process. Seriously, I look like such a noob wandering around hospital- I don’t look ill, just bloody cold. Damn my silly allergies- pineapples and septrin. I mean, come on, I sound like a right twat saying that whenever they ask me at pharmacy. Yeah, me and my intolerance of fucking pineapples, yeah, I’m so hard with my hatred for fibrous fruit. I actually love pineapples. It’s a very weird scenario, a bit like an abusive relationship- I love them and all they do is hurt me. Speaking of abusive relationships, I went to visit Peck this week and came back with an extra bruise. It does look a bit like he’s been holding me a bit too tightly by the wrists, but really he just attacked me with a rattlesnake, which is completely fine because I like snakes, especially when they come with rainbow crystals...

Just more waiting and waiting for my chimerism to reach 100%. Sometimes it never quite gets there. Then I’ll have to write this blog forever. And ever. You’ll all be very bored by then. I’d start searching for other blogs to read for when mine gets a bit repetitive ACTUALLY NO, I shouldn’t be organising my successor, that’s no way to run a cancer dictatorship! I am the only person with cancer you should love, all the other people are smelly. They also don’t have sexy cancer. My funny haemogoblinz wear stockings all day long!

Lunch is cooked. Noodles and chicken for me :D

Constanze, Queen of Leukaemia and also Eurovision but Not Much Else.

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P.s I need to talk about Eurovision, sorry. I can’t surpress it. My favourite act didn’t even make the final, you can’t beat ‘I love Belarus’ for a song, and the amazing dance routine. I now blurt out the song and dance several times a day in anticipation of my success-I’ve-not-got-cancer-anymore-so-I’m-going-on-holiday-to-Belarus-Ukraine-and-Moldova holiday. I also much appreciated Zdob&Zdub’s second attempt, they have increased in both song quality and mentalness. What a night it was though, with none of the favourites doing very well at all, with the supposed 5:1 winner France only managing a somewhat pathetic 15th. And our random 12 points from Bulgaria? I wasn’t aware we were so Popular (The Russian hunk was so much hunkier than that Swedish yobo- not only had he failed to pull his braces up, he didn’t even have the silly ‘running’ dance move. Actually, Alex dropped it from his final performance, what on Earth did he do that for, silly man, it was the least cool thing I’ve ever seen. )in countries bordering the Black Sea. Perhaps I’ll have to visit while I’m in the area to say thanks. I love Eurovision. So much. There is no way hospital is stopping me going next year, I’ve already been looking at plane tickets to Azerbaijan, where apparently women are treated with more respect than in pretty much any other country. And now I have some boobs people can actually tell I’m female. Bangin’

P.p.s I think I have also found my dream job- the bloke in charge of the whole Eurovision event- the one who got to say about half a sentence. Not sure what qualifications I’ll require, I’ve certainly got the lack of taste and geographical knowledge?...

P.p.p.s I love watching people miss trains. Especially when I’m on them, feeling all self satisfied that I’m so sexy and organised. MmmHmmm.