Today came medical confirmation of all the teasing about the size of my eyes. We all know they are rather large, but it has now become apparent that they are so big that when I blink my eyelids aren't quite big enough to cover them, hence a little bit of my eye never gets any eyelid love. This also explains why I've always slept with my eyes half open, since I was a little Babystanze. Oh, the stories I have about it. Being woken up by a terrified friend, screaming "ARE YOU DEAD", shaking me because I sleep with my eyes open and only the whites showing, not to mention I usually sleepgape... Being told I am not allowed a sandwich if I can't close my eyes. It's not a serious medical condition, it's a very trivial one, but, still, another thing for Richard to tease me about. Well, he did anyway. I seem to remember moaning about my constant being tormented for my eyes in previous posts. I prefer the doctors words- "This is the price you must pay for such big, beautiful eyes..."
Yellow snot is my other current medical complaint. Some drug I've had in the last day or two has turned my snot LUMINOUS YELLOW. And I mean luminous- you can probably see it from space. I'll ask my friends to ask MIR. Those would be imaginary friends, MIR is one of the few space stations I don't have connections with.
And now I am off. To live my new life as a Ring-Tailed Lemur.
Here is a picture depicting the sort of bullying I have to endure. It's not my fault my eyes bulge. I was born like it, damnit!
This is a photo I took!
ReplyDeleteALSO TENT YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY