A rather busy schedule....

Yesterday I spent around 10 years in hospital. There is now a PLAN. An epic PLAN of health and recovery and so forth. Soon I shall be the healthiest goth in the whole of Derbyshire! Well, soonish... Give it 8 months at least... But I'm working on it, jesus, have some patience!

So, I should hopefully be going in for my 5 week party on the 5th of October. That's if they find my donor and he's not busy... It might be a week or two after if he is. I can't imagine he would have anything better to do than save the life of a wonderful English physicist, but you never know. The circus might be in town.

In case his stem cells don't take they're harvesting some from me too. I like the term harvesting, it takes me right back to my rural Derbyshire roots. This involves more self-injecting, a lot of acheiness and one or two four hour stints on a magic blood machine. The magic blood machine is AMAZING. It's a bit like a dialysis machine. Blood goes out one arm and back into the other. Somewhere inbetween all that they filter out all the stem cells. I won't be allowed to move my arms, or me in general, for all that time. And we all know what a fidgetter I am. Oh dear. I may have to take a friend to do all my scratching for me. Any takers?

I had another boring heart scan. Ooo, they told me the results of my previous heart and lung tests. Apparently my heart is absolutely epic, top quality. BUT my lungs are not as good as they should be... Oops. They're redoing the test. Like an A-level retake. But with more horrible things shoved in your mouth.

There was more talk of "Do I want to meet the new teenage psychologist?". Again, I tried to politely decline... But, I am informed that I will become more traumatised as it all dawns on me. IT ALREADY BLOODY HAS. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice lady, only doing her job poor lass, and I don't mean to be putting all these trained mental health types out of a job but can't you just take no as an answer?

Then there were blood tests. 10 tubes were taken out of my left arm. 10! Double figures! My record is 6. Almost doubled it in a day. I had this amusing exchange while this haemoglobic robbery was happening-
Nurse- "How anaemic are you at the minute?"
Me- "Not very..."
Nurse- "Well, YOU WILL BE NOW, AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"
Ok, so maybe she didn't do the evil laugh. That may have been added in my head for dramatic effect. It made me laugh, anyway.

And the bone marrow sample! I think it was my fourth. This one was the least painful, becoming a professional, me. A doctor with a name I can't spell did it, but I love him very much. I have never had a less painful needle inside one of my bones. Oooo, oooo, oooo. It kept bleeding everywhere when I got home! My back pissed blood all over the armchair, and then when I went for a bath it bled there and made it look a bit like psycho... But in a bath. I doubt that scene would have been quite so iconic if it'd happened in a bath...

I have also come up with a new idea. Apparently Young German Male is only a couple of years older than me. It's a fact that I want to marry a German, and I am so incredibly thankful to him, so what better way to say ta mate than to offer myself in marriage? I mean, I am the best gift ever. Just don't tell James...

And for now Ladies and Gents, that is all...

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