It's My Life, Don't You Forget

Evening you handsome and winsome folks! I've been very quiet on here but for no reason other than I am boring and forgetful and Buffalo Bill. I'm currently battling yet another infection in the general lung and throat area and it's causing me to have very little energy for anything, especially sitting here writing when I could be curled up in bed and pretending I'm a squirrel. NUTS. My lung capacity currently appears to be zero; yesterday at work I fell asleep in the middle of something and heatbutted one of the very expensive Apple computers... Thankfully neither me nor the technology came away with serious injury but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my semi-narcoleptic self injures myself or my surroundings greatly. SMASHY SMASHY SMASHY. Work has been a major struggle this past week or two, I even had to admit defeat and go homeearly one day last week. Which as we know is a major sore point for me, I HATE not being able to work to my full capacity. The Constanzeglass is half full, not half empty. Needs me some energies.

I also seem to have been losing quite a lot of my hair. Well, not a lot lot but certainly more than usual. I know I've spoken about this a little before but it's really starting to become apparent that it's not all in my head and that I might be going a little bit bald. Damn chemo (at least I presume that's what it is, it is listed under the common side effects of my tablets). I like my lovely long anime character hair. I look like a sexy Cousin It. I'll have to be a sexy Uncle Fester instead. I must admit, when I lost my hair I wasn't too bothered about it but now I'd be quite sad if I did again. I don't think it's a vanity thing, I mean, I don't mind wigs and I look damn fine in them, it's just I kind of feel like I've paid that due. Did the bald thing. Ticked off that box. Still, it's nowhere near that stage, the outside person couldn't even tell, it's just another thing to keep a close eye on. The delicious trail of hair I leave everywhere I go :)

The other big news of the fortnight is that I finally got that tattoo to remember Naomi by (see attached picture). One of the last times I saw Naomi was when I went round to her house and we chatted and played a board game called Qwirkle. Just such a peaceful, chilled day. How my soul will miss that. But anyway, the tattoo is of a tile from that game, on my hand so she can see all the places I go on my travels and in my life, all the places she never got to see... My apologies for all the cliche things I'm saying here. As I said before, usually I can make light and jokes about anything but I just can't about Naomi. It's all too raw and too imaginary and too everywhere all at once. I still have her name in my phonebook, on snapchat, on facebook so I see her name and smile and then I remember and it hits me like a tonne of bricks over and over. I am not impressed with the Syrup Waffle Gods for taking her away. If I send them all my Le Roule do you think they'll give her back?

I went to a new place for my tattoo and it was a little odd. A strange mix of people. The tattooist's dad had cancer but he's apparently fine now. At least I think, the guy had a really quiet foreign accent so I was really struggling to comprehend quite what he was saying. It was a quite refreshing change from "OH MY NAN DIED OF CANCER" or "JEEZ CANCER IS BAD YOUR LIFE MUST BE SHIT". Everyone's ill. A lady fainted on my train today but I think she was ok in the end, at least I saw her be vertical again. Vertihorizverizontal. Or however it goes. Like the windddddddd, all the wind in China. 

Bath and bed now. Wait, no, that's a lie. Digestive biscuits, pack my suitcase, bath then bed. Then dreams of lungs and stamps and friends in the sky. There are so many now. So many dancing with the clouds. I visit in my sleep then come back down to earth to look at the stamps and cough on my loved ones. And cough phlegm all over my desk at work. I'm as beautiful as a butterfly and as disgusting as a slug. Sluggerfly, that's me. And it's damn bloody wonderful :)

Constanzistan :) xXxXxXx