I made a lot of angry organs

Yo dawgs!

I've had a shock. A weight related shock. As we know I was poorly for quite a few weeks and I knew I'd lost a bit of weight but I've actually lost a lot of weight and argh. I'm down to a measly 9 stone 13, well over half a stone less than I was a month or two ago. I know this is still in the normal category but I feel like a lot of hard work has gone done the bloody pan. I WANT MY GIANT ARSE. FOR CUNTFUCK'S SAKE. All I am is my arse and if I don't have my arse then I have nothing. Ack. Being this thin just evoke memories of all the horrible cancerexia times I had and all that nearly dying of being too thin malarkey and it's just not pleasant. Not pleasant at all. I thought I was over that period.

It's just the sudden drop that's really got me. I'd finally stablised my weight to about ten and a half stone (aiming to eventually add a couple more pounds but as we know I find keeping weight on really difficult despite my voracious eating habits), there had been no major changes for well over a year. I guess I'll start back on the build up milkshakes but they're another thing that seriously remind me of the super dark days when stick insect Constanze could barely even manage a French fancie and a boiled sweet. But like, where do all the calories go? It's not as if I have an active job or lifestyle, I just look at stamps all day then play Civilisation all evening (keepin' it wild). The only exercise I get is running through Luton late at night in a desperate bid to not get murdered or accidentally join a street gang. And my medications should help so fuck knows what I'd be like without them, no thyroid and no ovaries mean I should be as plump as a partridge and YET I AM NOT. Plus there's the added bonus that no one takes this shit seriously (not that I actually give much of a damn), you explain this to anyone and they're all like "oh I am so jealous I wish I could lose weight easily" and it's like no you wouldn't you ignorant fuck do you have any fucking clue about the universe. It's that bloody virus, I let myself get too poorly before I did something about it. Lesson learned. Plus now I can go and see the insanely attractive London doctor so OH SO MANY INCENTIVES TO BE A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

Anyway, grumbles over. It's April Fools tomorrow and I'm wondering who to prank. Maybe the weight thing was a prank from my scales and I'm actually morbidly obese and resemble a giant wheel of cheddar cheese. I must resist the yearly urge to make a "I'm cured!"
status on facebook and then be like "LOL not really APRIL FOOL". Jeez. I am so evil.

My garlic dough balls are ready to come out of the oven so I'm off to eat those and put pillows down my skirt so I can be bootylicious once more!

Constanze :) xXxXx