We are the Masters of the Cancer

Where have I been hiding for all these days? Where oh where oh where? Truth is, I don't know, it's all just zoomed past like the M60 down the road. For a short while I was actually hiding in a holly hedge as I had a particularly humourous fall into one (oh, what's that, a kerb, I wonder if I can obtain magic powers and fly over it, oh yes I am flying into concrete oh no it's ok there's a hedge to save me OH SHIT THIS HEDGE IS SHARP I am not very bleedy and very damp) but I've also been hiding at work and in various locations in the Cheshire area.

The majority of my bloody awful inner eye cyst thingy has gone, thank the lord fish pie. I have been gently encouraging it to heal by poking it and prodding it at most hours of the day. Think I'm going to have a sexy eye scar. Yumalicious.

And as for cancer and all that spagetti, there's really not much happening. The next medical party on my calendar is my second round of vaccinations in about two weeks, after which I will be immune to alllllll of the serious illnesses (well, some) (when are they going to invent a breast cancer vaccine? no no no no wanty). Plus the new flu jab. Which I should have been having for the past couple of years but OOPS TOO LATE NOW.

I've lost a Creme Egg. Wo bist du?

Sleepytimes now I think. Well, I have to do THE LIST then sleepytime. On THE LIST are all the things I should have done about a week ago but I kept getting distracted by massive steaks and misplacing umbrellas. My exciting life.

Constanleyknife :) xXxXxXx

P.s They put my talk up and it's pretty embarassing to say the least. I am officially the first person on jimmyteens to require a CAUTION THIS VIDEO MAY CONTAIN OFFENSIVE SWEARING warning message. I think we have discovered that while I might not get nervous, my voicebox has a small amount of Tourette's. Whoops. You can see it here:

P.p.s I accidentally got on a train without a ticket and actually cried a bit because I felt so guilty. Didn't cry when I was told I had cancer. I am in no way mentally fucked up.

P.p.p.s I have just painted my nails with what were supposed to be flames but they just look like penises. Big blue penises. CONSTANZE WINS AGAIN.