Shoot that poison cancer through my heart

Oh, it's been one of those weeks where everything I've done has either gone stupendously or horrifically. No inbetweens, no messing maaaan. I guess I'll start with the bad stuff so I can end the post with the good stuff and you can all go off in a wonderful mood full of wonderful cancery thoughts. Like that feeling you get when you try a new sort of sauce on your sandwiches and it's bloody delicious. Do I feel all my emotions via food? Yes sir, indeed I do.

So, the annoying to the extreme deluxe story. As you know I went to the doctor's to get a letter for my medications so I can travel abroad. I wasn't sure if I needed one but the doctor said oh yes I'll do that how sensible and I was very happy because the doctor was nice and everything was nice. I kept phoning up to see if it was ready and it wasn't for ages but then one day it was. And just as the phonecall ended the nurse chipped in "Oh, and you do know there's a £20 charge for this service don't you?"... Erm... NO I BLOODY DON'T. Where had this mysterious twenty quid suddenly appeared from? No one had mentioned it to me before, that's for sure. Upon further investigation I don't actually even need this letter to travel and that my doctor's surgery charge over double the going rate. So what's basically happened is that lady doctor has written me a letter I don't need and failed to tell me they charge for the privilege. I phoned up today to complain but there basic excuse was that the doctor "doesn't know these things". Riiiight. So this lady doctor gets £100,000 a year or whatever to not have a clue about NHS practices? As you know I rarely criticise any medical institution but this has wasted precious resources, if I'd have been told I didn't need the letter (or that it was so expensive) then I wouldn't have ordered it. Grumblemumble etc.

BUT the good news is that I sorted my travel insurance! Woohoo! I managed to get covered for exactly the same price as a normal person which is absolutely amazing, big kudos to Virgin Travel (£9.70, I can nearly afford a prescription letter now, HA HA HA). I of course had to exclude my illness, that is, if anything goes wrong leukaemia wise I'm not covered but that won't happen because my illness doesn't come on rapidly. At least not so rapidly that I can't get on the first plane home! I had this horrible feeling that they were going to charge me lots and lots even without the AML exclusion, just because the second they hear cancer they go into EXCESSIVE PRICES OVERDRIVE. Not that they'd insure my leukaemia anyway, apparently I am UNINSURABLE. I am so dangerous that no living soul dares to gamble with my blood. I was pondering about insuring myself so I can go kalashnikov shooting (I'm usually very anti-gun, well, very anti-people-being-allowed-to-own-guns but it's a KALASHNIKOV, hypocrite centralll) but I suspect that gun shooting in rural Eastern Europe is going to end badly. SEE LOOK AT ME MAKE SENSIBLE LIFE CHOICES. Bangin'.

My new passport arrived in the post so I'm pretty much all set to go. My hotels are booked (I can't remember if I mentioned before but in Lviv I'm staying in a very historic hotel that countless famous people have stopped in; Sartre, Yuri Gagarin and Honore de Balzac, Brahms to name but a few, I'm so excited that I want to cry). Just eighteen days! Oh wow, this holiday has been a long time in the making. A long time in the daydreaming. A long time in the mind. All those hours spent on hospital wards dreaming of cyrillic script and excessive museums.

Dentist time tomorrow. See if anything can be done about the massive great big chunk missing out of my tooth. Radiotherapy, one day I shall have my vengance, and when I do you shall be nothing but a pile of moon dust. They think I'm called Constantine and that I'm married but I do definitely have an appointment (albeit under my new alias) that I'm definitely not going to miss and all will be beautiful once more. TEETHY TOOTHY.

Bathtime now. It's time to relax and forget the trauma that is too many Jammu and Kashmir stamps :)

Constanze "Full of Crisps" the Great :) xXxXxXx

P.s I met a rabbit in the woods today. He came to tell me that no matter how shit my legs are trying to climb trees will always be a good idea.