Not a Vegeeetaybul

I really must keep this brief as I have to become horizontal soon or I will loose all the little blood I have left :S Someone got up and skipped around too soon after their bone marrow and started bleeding from their back all over the 19:42 train to Liverpool Lime Street. But don't tell anyone, ssh. Anyway, here's the story, the goss, the news, the malarkey and probably some more things but you'll have to READ AND FIND OUT.

I got up and went to work as normal then lunchtime occurred and I was like oh yeahhh it's hospital time so I got on many trains and a bus and stopped off at B&M Bargains and bought too many coat hangers and Turkish cookies and then went to KFC and ate about 300 chickens and fourteen barrels of gravy and then got to hospital nice and early. I waved to his holiness Yusef the doctor and one of the nurses who said oh hi Constanze go and sit down happy times. So, I sat. And I sat some more. Time went by. Approximately an hour after I got there my phone started ringing. Unknown number. I bet it's more PPI claims shitjazzle I thought (for the last time I have never had a mortgage or loan and I had a credit card that I used once and got rid of) and prepared myself for mild annoyance. But no, it was no claims related answerphone, it was Day Ward reception calling from about 3m away. "Constanze, where are you? You're supposed to be having a bone marrow in the Royal Hallamshire today" "Yeah, I'm sat in the waiting room, I can hear you talking from here" "Oh really? Are you sure? A doctor has just been looking for you and couldn't find you and has gone back to the ward upstairs"... I have bright green, blue and red hair. I'm the only person in the room under 50. I AM NOT HARD TO SPOT. No doctor has looked in this room and no doctor has called my name. I haven't even left my seat. Blarg.

So, some more time passed and I started to get a little worried that everyone was leaving and going home so I went to do some more enquiring. When I asked the nurse she looked puzzled. It seems what had happened was that some nurse who didn't know me had forgotten to mark me as arrived on the board then when a doctor had come to collect me they'd said I wasn't there. Which annoys me quite a bit because I NEVER miss appointments and don't want my wonderful reputation to be tarnished! But there's no point in grumbling. I just waited some more until a doctor finally emerged about two and a half hours after my actual extraction time. But the fun didn't stop there, oh no...

The bone marrow started beautifully. Liquid sample came out a treat (see photo). Solid sample however caused many many problems. She had about a million tries to get some out but none were successful; eventually she had to give up. So she left me there with a giant needle hanging out of my back (CONSTANZE WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT ROLL OVER I REPEAT DO NOT ROLL OVER OR YOU WILL CAUSE A SERIOUS INJURY BUT MY FOOT ITCHES NO NO NO YOU WILL DIE) while she ran around the day ward trying to find Yusef so he could have a go. But no Yusef could be found and my foot is really itching and she came back and itch and then someone found Yusef but he was going to a meeting and had to do a super speed extraction and he was amazing and finally got some out of my extremely over drilled back. And what a fine sample it was too (see other photo). I then had some blood taken, hobbled out of the hospital as my right leg was killing me and made my wobbly way home. Via the biscuit aisle of M&S.

But all in all it was a very good day, I got everything done and I've only bled out about half of my blood and I really like jaffa cakes.

And now it's bye bye bye from Constanze who is definitely going to bed now because my right leg is a very unhappy leg :) xXxXxXx