Slowpoke No Poke

Someone has eaten too much strawberry whip. Some very very very silly cancer patient. I wonder who it is. OH WAIT IT'S STUPIDSTANZE. Why. Why. Whyyyyy. No human can digest this many sugars and e numbers at once, let alone a human with a dodgy stomach. It's not even like I have to eat like a pig anymore, I just do. And judging by the size of my bum in the above photo I have to be careful or my bum will start affecting the Earth's orbit or something. I LOVE MY FAT BUM LOOK HOW FAT IT IS. But seriously, I ate something this week that was supposed to have 39 portions and I ate it in 5. I can't work out if I'm proud of my eating achievements or deeply ashamed. Perhaps both. In a 80:20 split.

ANYWAY. I had a small flatwarming thing at my flat this weekend which was cool. I took my guests to the Hat Museum (hence the pic of us at lunch with the Mad Hatter) then we gorged on three takeaways then we painted my coffee table with hideous portraits of each other then thought about Derbyshire Monopoly but realised that we had eaten quite a lot and instead played a word game that ended up with many drawings of cross dressing animals and confused banknotes and the like. There ain't no party like a Constanze club party?

No hospital though. None at all. The only evidence of cancer in my new flat is the massive bag of drugs that I hide in a corner. I'm currently only on nine tablets a day which everyone else seems to think is a lot but in the context of me is very little. It was down to seven a few weeks ago but as you know some doctor got bored and added another one lol jkz. I'm better at swallowing tablets than I am swallowing food! Aieee. The sun has gone to sleep and so will yo yo yo. I promise that one day I will actually write a blog post when I'm not completely knackered. Maybe I'll get up really early one day and write a blog post before work! I love getting up when it's dark. I love the dark, even though I'm a bit scared of it.

I've been fighting off an infection all week. It hasn't taken hold which makes me happy but the amount of snot I'm making is a little unideal. And my skin is being very angry, I geet getting marks and little swellings on my neck, I am a sea of unhealthyyyy, my eyes, my eyes, my eyes keep making pus, my body has a million little quirks. And not the biscuit sort.

I think I might go for a bath in the desperate hope that the hot water will soothe my somewhat overworked stomach. Stow march. The world is fun. But my legs are Slowpoke.

Constanze :) xXxXx