School's Out For Cancer

Oh, Constanze, you are a nightmare. I was just looking for a hospital document and I found a couple of these forms we had to fill out after we got our school reports (to see how we could 'progress' and all that rubbish) and after every single question was a stupid lairy answer. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I'd forgotten how it was like that for MY WHOLE SCHOOL CAREER. I look back on it all now through these rose tinted glasses but actually I was an epic pain in the bottom. There was one especially hilarious report where I'd actually started reviewing my teachers back! "How did you feel your progress in RE went?" "Bad, got an f, there is very poor teaching here, Mrs X needs to learn some more things". I was a harmless pain though. I just did hundreds and hundreds of little irritating things (and to be fair, I did only go out of my way to annoy the teachers who were genuinely awful) to get all my teenage angst out instead of smoking pot on the playing fields. I was clever and bored, leave me alone, alright? Plus I got to Oxford in the end so all that attitude didn't hold Gothteenagerstanze back too much :D

Anyway, that has nothing to do with cancer. CANCER. I'm currently on the tail end of what for a couple of days was a very, very nasty virus. It felt like my brain had swelled up to twice its normal size and I had to sit in a dark room sounding like a lawnmower for quite a while. That's cleared up a fair bit now though which is jolly spiffing :) Nothing's swelled up for a bit too which is nice. And the really bad night sweats I had when my virus peaked have acted like a giant facial detox so my dry skin is very happy this week. Glorious!

And how goes the new job malarkey I hear you ask? Well, I'm starting on Monday, excited but also MY EYES WILL NOT REMAIN OPEN. As for where I'll be living, it's a long story but I finally have somewhere sorted. Basically there were two flats in the building I wanted to live in, one being let by company A and one by B. Company A's flat was let so I arranged a viewing with company B. While I was waiting I was approached by a lady who asked if I was waiting for a viewing, I said yes but I was expecting a man, it turned out that Company A's flat had come back on the market that very morning (the guy who applied had been turned down) and she just happened to be doing a viewing at exactly the same time, woo, weird! Looked at both Company A and B's flats, was torn, Company A's had the best view but was dirty and furnished with filthy furniture, Company B's had an inferior but still nice view but was much cleaner and unfurnished (which I wanted). I chose to go with Company A because I thought the other woman might go for the other flat, they're a well established company and you can just get the hoover out to get rid of the dirt. BIG MISTAKE. I paid my security fee and was told that as long as I passed my credit and reference checks (which I was obviously going to) the flat was mine. Phoned them up yesterday to check on their progress and they're rented it to the guy they'd 'turned down' even though they thought he was a big risk and he hadn't even paid any of their fees. Riiight. And she 'hadn't realised I'd already paid'. Riiiiight. There was something very suspicious about all this, I'd been deceived multiple times and they'd basically wasted my time for the best part of a week. So I got my refund and ran as far away as possible, straight into Company B's arms who are absolutely amazing and have immediately secured me the flat and I move in on Friday. Beautiful.

Bedtime now. It's been a long day. To summarise; I got up, coughed a lot, got a lift because my bus had disappeared (turns out it had crashed, another blow for people who think I'm unlucky, I dodged a bullet and a half there!), got on a train, ate some pig, got on another train, walked to Edward Bag Of Lies Mellor Estate Agents, didn't play the cancer card but did play the extremely displeased Northener card, got on another train, got on a tram, looked at a canal, drunk some tea, ate some cheese, went to Super Amazing Craven Properties, looked at a canal again, went to a library and taught a fat dopey ignorant man how to count to 6, got on another tram, talked to a lady stranger to help calm her nerves before her dental appointment, accidentally stalked a man in the rain, used a level crossing, got on a train, got on another train, went to a supermarket, discovered my 4th favourite sort of crisps have been discontinued, went to another library, used a printer and got on a bus. THEN I WAS HOME. Sleepy sleepy horse jumped over the saturn sleepy tired. I did too much today but there is too much to do. I am still a very poorly Stanze. But I am still a very Stubbornstanze :)

AND I WONDER WHY I HAVE CANCER. I've actually spent the whole day wheezing on benches and desperately holding onto trees and bins as my legs fail to serve their purpose as per usual. But then again, are you honestly ever expecting me to learn my lesson? ;)

NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT! A night to end a very fun and very busy day!

Constanze :) xXxXx

P.s Chainsaw. I sound like a chainsaw.

P.p.s I'm a bit concerned about the sort of deformity/lump thing on my rib. I can't work out if I'm imagining it. Or if it's been there forever. I need all the people who have ever felt my boobs to remember if they ever noticed the rib at the bottom of my left boob being a bit of a funny shape? Come on, I know there's tonnes of you that have copped a feel over the years...