Don't think you won't regret forbidding fun

Ohhh, I am so happy that this isn't a video blog. So very very happy. I have some kind of virus mixed in with a whole load of laryngitis. And I mean a whole load. The only noise I can currently make is a pathetic squeak. Barely even that. I sound like a balloon rubbing against a whiteboard; not a single comprehensible word will come out. For the past couple of days I've been able to at least say some words (if I said them in a stupidly hoarse low tone) but today it's just the soundtrack to 'my life as a mouse the musical'. I'll get used to it though, I'm sure everyone around me is enjoying a nice break from me rambling on all day long, I do go on a bit. A lot. A fucking lot.

But anyway, there is far more exciting news than my bloated larynx... I have a sort of trial job thing! I had an interview sort of thing on Wednesday and I have a little month long trial to see if I can stay awake and not set fire to things and stuff. It's at a big famous stamp auction house (in the North, don't worry, I haven't defected to the South again) which is obviously super exciting because stamps rule the universe. I even managed to convince them I was a reasonable person while coughing phlegm all over the room which is probably a good thing? I have many talents, all shrouded in mucus?

Then on the way home from said interview I had the choice of going to hospital or going to a hat museum. Yes, that's right, I could have gone and had my very bright green throat swabbed in case I was about to die but instead I chose to get overexcited trying on historic hats. I love hats. I've seen the hats now though so if my throat stays this mental then I will drop by the hospital. But at the minute I'm just crossing my fingers it'll go away by me drinking shitloads of tea. KILL IT. KILL IT WITH TEA.

Speaking of hospital I have to have an echocardigram (an ultrasound of the heart to look at the valves and stuff) but I'm really not sure why. The appointment arrived this morning but it's the first I've heard of needing one... I'm not going to complain though, they normally let me have photos and you get to hear your own heart beating, how exciting! But why? Why why why? Apart from that little murmur it does it's supposed to be fine. Maybe it's because the hospital likes me being topless and covered in lube. Maybe I do, who knows?

I'm off now to watch the best sporting event of the year. It's World's Strongest Man season, woooohoooooo! Lifting things is an amazing skill. I can nearly lift a car. But only when you're not looking.

Night night,
Constanze :)

P.s It also turns out laryngitis is more common in men. Not content with having a cancer twice as common in men at my age and having male bone marrow my body is now adding my fucking throat to the 'why don't you just have a sex change and get on with it' pile. But I will resist. The bone marrow and larynx may have defected but the rest of me is staying FIRMLY ON THE FEMALE SIDE.

P.p.s I was in Stockport and I walked out of the train station and looked around. I saw a used condom, a flashing police car and a guy with a tattoo on his forehead. The North is such a beautiful place <3