There is nothing you can drop out that I have not already dropped out myself

I feel so happy that I could cry. The world's biggest weight has been lifted from my shoulders, everything is skipping with joy and happiness and love and excessive amounts ofstrawberry sauce. I just manned up and stopped dancing around the subject and I'm now dancing on top of it instead. What is all this about I hear you ask?

I just dropped out of Oxford University.

I know that 90% of you will now be thinking something along the lines of "Oh Constanze, you'll regret that, Oxford is the best uni, you're so silly, bla bla bla" and that's fine but you're wrong. The main reason that I've found it so hard to finally write the email and drop out is because I knew that there would be a barrage of crap and shit and lectures about how amazing Oxford is and how I'm a moron for not wanting to go back and I've heard this a thousand times now already now thankyou. It's amazing how people's visions get clouded when they talk about Oxford, you'd swear all the history and fame of the place has hit them with a delusional concussion about how as soon as you get a place there then YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE AND IF YOU DO YOU'LL BECOME NOTHING AND GET A HEROIN ADDICTION AND DIE PAINFULLY, GET EATEN BY RATS AND BE TORMENTED IN HELL FOREVER. That's how people talk to me anyway, I tried to have sensible conversations with people about leaving and all I seemed to get was a list of really stupid reasons to stay. I know it's world renowned, I know I'm amazingly clever, I know degrees are useful. But these reasons are all irrelevant. I don't want to go back, I had fun but now it's time to move on, it's my own damn life and I'm not a fool for making my own decisions. And I won't have people taking to me like I'm an idiot for not doing what they'd do in my shoes.

And besides, since when have I ever done anything by the book? Doing things the stupid way has served me very well thus far and I have no intention of stopping. This is the whole reason I do well in life (let's not forget it's also the reason I got into Oxford in the first place) is because I'm different and don't wander around like some sheep. If you take a step back and look you'll soon see that people who slip off the beaten track are the ones who find the shortcut to the gold medal.

But seriously though, I will go to university at some point. I'll do medical physics instead of physics though probably, who knows, all of the future is a big mysterious ball of mystery and questions. The short term plan is to carry on with the DO MY LEGS WORK DO MY LEGS WORK DO MY LEGS WORK work experience and all that jazz, then slowly take over the world with my amazing collection of brains and radiation. I just feel like my whole life has been either EXTREME ACADEMIA or EXTREME CANCER and it's time to start living a little. Not that I wasn't living before, it's just diversifying the mind and whatnot. There's only one certainty in all this, whatever I end up doing I'll do it jolly spiffingly well.

I just feel like the rest of my life can start happening now (that sounds like a terrible cliché, apologies, all the good sentences were invented already). I've put Oxford firmly in the past, cancer is starting to be more of a memory than a career plan and there's a while ocean of fun things to be done. All aboard the Stanzeboat because we're about to go sailing on the Sea of Terrorising the Normal World!

Constanze :) xXxXx

P.s Sorry for the somewhat blunt tone, I am in a very happy yet rather annoyed kind of mood. More Polish pear tea will improve everything muchly.

P.p.s I got three random messages from random fans and followers in the past week and I very much appreciate and enjoy hearing from people and reading random comments and stuff. I'm a but shy at replying but I will. Yes, Cancerstanze is shy sometimes, can you believe it?

P.p.p.s I'm still waiting for someone to get so much as one of my obscure music references that I sometimes make in my posts. I think the person who does will win a fabulous prize, something to do with zebras, papercuts and a selection of preserves. Speaking of preserves, I might have some celebratory onion pickle.