I wrote this about a week ago but blogger would let me post it... Here goes again!


Happy middle of the night everyone! My lungs are full of dust and for some reason this has made me really awake and unable to sleep, so here I am, coughing up tumbleweed and spilling water on my envelopes at half one in the morning. I saw this video on one of the chav and slag music channels the other day and it reminded me of my illness and being in hospital and all that jazz. At the start you can see me being all nerdy (yeah, I'm the guy in the glasses) and serious doing all my physics but then also dancing around like the crazy fool I am on tables and scaring everyone with how mental I am, then there's me being tazered which is the cancer hitting, then you can see me pushing a rock up a hill which is the fighting the cancer bit and then me in hospital being ill then me and all the medical staff dancing around which is pretty much what I do in hospital. The last 30 seconds are pretty much how I see and behave in hospital which is probably more worrying than reassuring but of well DANCE DANCE CANCER CANCER PARTY PARTY. The song isn't all that amazing, there's no one screaming which is usually a requirement for me to like a song but oh well oh well oh well, LOOK THERE'S PEOPLE DANCING IN A HOSPITAL LIKE I DO! And I do get a good feeling, so maybe it's not as bad as I'm making out...



I'm not really sure there's much medical news to tell you. I'm probably going to go to Find Your Sense of Tumour again this year (that conference for youths with cancer, I went last year, remember?) and cause havoc again like always. Must remember to avoid the massages though, never again am I taking my clothes off for anyone who isn't a medical professional or collector of stamps! Anotball, ree stuff, I still haven't20mud, where's is my mind, where is my lime, what is the time, 18 minutes and life to go o o" and various other tuneful ramblings...

I might also have to do some fib telling on Wednesday... I'll be going by myself on the bus as always and you're not supposed to go on the bus after bone marrow extractions and they'll ask me how I'm getting home and I'll have to lie and say I'm getting a lift but I'm a shit liar and they'll see straight through me and I'll have to run away or distract them with a cake and a rake on a stick on a brick and ARGH WHY AM I SUCH A SHIT LIAR? I AM DEFINITELY GETTING A LIFT IN A CAR LOOK AT ME GET IN THIS INVISIBLE SEXY FORD FIESTA THAT ISN'T A BUS I NEVER EVEN GO ON BUSES DON'T BE SILLY IT'S A DOUBLE DECKER CAR NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WELL DONE CONSTANZE NO ONE SUSPECTS A THING. Apart from the god knows how many people who have just read your intentions on your blog but that doesn't matter because they're all nice and won't graslay football, in my blood is a lot of mud, where's is my mind, where is my lime, what is the time, 18 minutes and life to go o o" and various other tuneful ramblings...

I might also have to do some fib telling on Wednesday... I'll be going by myself on the bus as always and you're not supposed to go on the bus after bone marrow extractions and they'll ask me how I'm getting home and I'll have to lie and say I'm getting a lift but I'm a shit liar and they'll see straight through me and I'll have to run away or distract them with a cake and a rake on a stick on a brick and ARGH WHY AM I SUCH A SHIT LIAR? I AM DEFINITELY GETTING A LIFT IN A CAR LOOK AT ME GET IN THIS INVISIBLE SEXY FORD FIESTA THAT ISN'T A BUS I NEVER EVEN GO ON BUSES DON'T BE SILLY IT'S A DOUBLE DECKER CAR NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WELL DONE CONSTANZE NO ONE SUSPECTS A THING. Apart from the god knows how many people who have just read your intentions on your blog but that doesn't matter because they're all nice and won't grass you up. Please don't tell :) It doesn't even matter really, I've had about 100000000 bone marrow extractions, I am a super expert and never ever start bleeding everywhere... Apart from my second one, but that was more hilarious than life threatening. My armchair still has a massive blood stain to this day. It's funny because you'd think you'd notice when you're losing at quite a rate but apparently Murder, She Wrote or whatever dated murder I was watching was much more important that haemoglobin and circulation and living. Whoops. Priorities Constanze, priorities.

I think it's finally sleeptime for me. All the dust is now coughed up and all over my keyboard so the world is a happy place and I have so much organising to do tomorow that it's almost unreal. I have dust in my stomach. Is dust good for you? Vitamin C. Vitamin Constanze. You have to get your vitamin Constanze every day kids or THE CANCER MONSTER WILL COME AND EAT YOUR FACE!!!

Constanleyknife :) xXx