Coughinghell.

*excessive coughing*

Evening to you all. Ooo, just as I wrote that, a mysterious pain entered my left humeral medial epicondyle, and as quickly as it appeard, it has gone again. Strange. What was I going to write about, humdrum, flum, drum? Good question. It's always where to begin, isn't it? I suppose as I left you with a mysterious cliff hanger about my throat I should probably fill you in on the dramatic times that've occured because of it. There has never been a throat like it, to quote the doctor's words-

"Wow. That is sore. There's pus everywhere."

Yeah. I make myself sound soooooo pretty. But anyway, I'd gone in on Tuesday as planned, announced to the day ward that I was diseased and sat myself in the corridor next to the water fountain. Before I went up for some special time my old friend the nebuliser there were the customary swabs of said sore throat and customary observations.... Oh dear, Constanze has a bit of temperature. People in hospitals really don't like hospitals, they like them about as much as Kate Middleton likes being interesting. So they take me upstairs and hide me in a room because I'm a massive danger to society (or at least neutropenic society, if there even is one. Cancer patients are hardly the Aztecs) and scurry off to find a doctor. Doctor appears and puts torch in Constanze's mouth, says above comment and worries somewhat. There really was a lot of pus, I tried desperately to take you a photo but I couldn't get my phone far enough in my mouth...

She prescribed hardcore antibiotics aplenty until the swabs came back. Best case scenario, just a boring viral and/or bacterial infection, worst case scenario a really bad combo and lots of intravenous crap. By today though I was feeling much better, I mean, I CAN SWALLOW AGAIN which is pretty cool, so when I went in I wasn't nearly as concerned as Tuesday, kind of shooting myself in the foot as I had to have the ever hated nebuliser. Something has gone wrong with my swabs though, lost/damaged/abducted so they had to be redone. No major issues. A happy end to a dramtic two days (as always, that's dramatic on my scale. My unimpressive, somewhat repetitive, distinctly cancery scale).

They were two fun days in hospital though. Not that fun in the hospital is unusual, there's always laughs aplenty if you know where to look. The highlight for me was my slight cruelty as the day ward's expense... Being sat next to the water fountain I soon realised there was no water in the fountain, so there wasn't even a fountain, no idea what to call it now. A voidful object. Anyway, every few minutes someone would approach the voidful object, get a cup and start pressing it. Only when they started looking like they thought they'd lost the plot would I helpfully say "oh, there's no water"... He he he. Oh god, I really have spent too long inside... The lifts were on fire for a bit too. And I definitely caught a 80 year old checking out my booty. Oh yeah.

Time for shit tv and sleep now. Hopefully I might have some fun this weekend, if I shake this bloody cough off. All other symptoms gone, just the cough lingering around like a bad smell. Back for my bone marrow extraction on Monday, it should be with Imran (the new doctor), but he's run off to India (I said I'd be willing to pop over for him to do it, but alas no) so I'm in the safe hands of the wonderful Yusef (Yoosef, for god's sake, if I keep spelling it wrong he'll start thinking he's spelling it wrong, ergh, I hate myself, someone wrote Constanze Constanza today and I went all red eyed and grumpy and I'M DOING THE SAME THING. I definitely deserve this cancer, my disregard for Arabic name alphabetology is really beyond a joke...) Stolen diagram of said procedure below, I know if you're anything like me all this text will be boring you and I have no suitable pictures of me :'( Please note that when most people have a needle shoved in their bone they do not look quite as peaceful as that woman.



Going now, waffling.

Constanze. xXx

*more excessive coughing to fade*