Tuesday, 3 August 2010

The hospital is more confused than I am. Quite an achievement!

Right, so usually this blog is about Constanze and all the crazyyy things that happen to her. But, for the next paragraph, we have an extract from my mum's experience of medicine. Slightly scary this is...

My mum is going for a small operation on her teeth. She phoned up the hospital to confirm her appointment, as you do. Confirms she can get there, and all that, then just as she was about to hang up... Turns out she'd been accidentally booked in for the wrong operation. They thought she was having her eyelid removed. Easy mistake to male, obviously. Getting "Operation clean infected tooth" and "Operation REMOVE EYELID" mixed up must happen every day...

Good job that was found out. I don't fancy having a one eyelided mother. Also a good job that we didn't find out the hard way...

Anyway, not much else to report other than the fact that I am VERY THIN. Matchsticky scrag scrag scrag. I look like the needles they shove in me. So thin I'm off the NHS BMI calculator. 17.2, my BMI. I just worked out the BMI of a lamppost and it was healthier. Shitttttttttttt. Want. Fat. Arse. Back. Please send all bags of unwanted fat to the usual address.

So full of splendips. Can't see. Legs hurt. Confused state. Brain heavy. Must... Lie... Down...

To the floor, comrades!

xXXxxXXx

P.s I shall watch Shooting Stars from the comfort of the delicious floor. I am normal. :D Everything is A O K. Oh yeahhh.

4 comments:

  1. I'm a little worried about the phrase above this comment box, "Aha! You have a thought!". You see, I have lots of thoughts, masses more than is safe, and some that should never *ever* see the light of day. It should read, "Aha! You have a thought! (That you wish the world to know)."

    Plans for world domination aside, I've heard of someone having their eye*teeth* removed, but never their eyelid. To have been written down so blaze, it makes it sound like it's a routine operation...

    Dom

    P.S. I am envious, Brighton has been really cloudy all week, so not only am I missing the Aurora Borealis ( which is meant to be visible, thank you sol for freaking out ), but also Jupiter and Uranus are visible to the right of the moon ( really bright, can't miss them ), and either this weekend or next there's a nice lensing effect that makes Mars bigger ( happens once, *once*, every 600 years ), so I figure it must be respective orbits and the sacrifice of a goat or something. Have fun star gazing.

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  2. Just looking at the votes thing, that's quite a time limit to put on it, but it's true, you look good with *******. Ah ha! You thought I was going to give it away didn't you. Not I no!!! I think quite a deep dark red would also suit.
    Bored now. At work. It's dull.

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  3. I love Splendips x

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  4. You are hilarious ... had to read your post out loud to my hubby. Thanks for the laugh.

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Aha! You have a thought!