As, my previous post said, things can only get better, and my, how they have. My birthday was a most enjoyable day, despite the plan not exactly going as thought out, but still working well in the end. IN THE END.
But, before I tell you of my birthday, let me tell you of my teeth. After nearly missing my appointment, per usual because of OTHER PEOPLE, I got to the dentist. Of course, my trip to the dentist had to be on the same day as the Ashover Show, and obviously I live on the main route to the said show, so the roads around my house were SOLID. Just Land Rovers and Horse Vans as far as the eye could see. My lovely double decker did eventually fight it's way through the hay and manure, and with some seriously fast hobbling, I arrived at the dentist, to be told... I HAVE EPIC TEETH. Yep, a part of my body got top health marks. Teeth down, every other organ to go...
And the, came the Glorious Twelfth! Well, glorious for Constanzes, not for grouse. After waking and opening all my wonderful presents (Including- GIANT ATLAS, postcards, books and Agent Provocateur leg stuff), the young Joseph Eckworth picked me up. We then went off to attempt to obtain a Jane from her house... Attempt being the key word, as there were MANY distractions, eg, I had to stop to buy sugar, Ecky had to stop to film the rain, two diversions and a wrong turn at a roundabout- all this made us slightly late for the collection of my Welly loving friend. But, eventually, and somehow, we made it to the hospital, alive, and in one piece... Even the rainbow cake which Jane had baked me (Which was nearly squashed to death by a folding seat of doom...)!
And then, the four hours of waiting, needling, poking, fishing and general bordom began. First stop was my long awaited meeting with Mr Stomach, AKA Dr Lobo. Alan Lobo. He certainly gets the prize for two names that are from somewhat different continents. I reeled off the symptoms of my stomachs erratic rebellious behaviour, and he wanted, suprisingly enough, to send his camera down for a little investigation. Lobo good. Lobo impressive. How Lobo can you go? We shall see. When Lobo cameras me. Turns out that per usual, my hospital reputation preceded me- "You're the one who went to Oxford... Yes, I've heard about you...". I never quite know just what they've heard. :S
And then, up to the day ward. This is where the serious boringtimes happened, not to mention the STARVATION. I had planned for getting out of hospital much faster than we did, so with three teenagers at 5 o clock minus lunch, there was many a rumble to be heard. Not even the fishing game Jane had bought me managed to quash our feelings of unexcitement and ravenousness. They stole some blood, I saw a doctor I'd never seen before (Who, again, knew about me, and my 'reputation' of genius and insanity) as my beautiful Yusef was on holiday.
Then finally, at 5.30, I WAS FREE. And, to Wagamama, we went. And my, did we eat. I ate! I ate LOADS on the Constanzescale. Duck dumplings and fried squid and courgettes and chicken and sticky rice and chicken wings and green tea.
And then, it was home and bed. Well, home, vomit up half your Wagamama because you were greedy and don't have a stomach, then bed. But all in all, an impressive way to turn 20.
One sec, the phone is ringing...
ACK. This post was going to contain only jolly things, but I have just had a right fiasco on the phone. Got a call from endoscopy to make that appointment for a sexy camera shoved into my stomach and OH GOD WHY IS NOTHING EVER EASY?!? So... Many... contradictions... They wanted me to go in Monday for an endoscopy at 3.45PM, but I'm not allowed a medicar... We don't have a car. I'm not allowed to eat or drink from 9.30 in the morning, so by lunchtime, the time I'll be travelling for two hours on three buses, I'll be starving, dehydrated and woozy. Um, logical that. And then on the way home, having had, when push comes to shove, what is quite an invasive prodedure, we'll have to madly rush to get the last bus home. I'm also not allowed sedative unless someone's driving me home, but, you seem to have missed the point, WE DON'T HAVE A CAR. This is a very silly situation. I phoned Aileen (No idea on Earth how to spell that, sorry) in desperation, and her epicness sorts everything. Next Wednesday, endoscopy, medicar booked. All sorted. Happiness Phew. Apparently the girl had seen I hadn't had a medicar on my birthday (when Ecky drove me in, so stop me being all alone in hospital, the only trip to hospital since January that I haven't had hospital transport), so she'd thought I didn't really need one or something. Qweerrttwswsssschmertyqwerty. It's not easy being pale.
*hears post... runs to postbox... life is joy...*
Ooo, ooo, ooo, everything is better now, the post just came... And delivered loads of birthday cards... They're not late, they're spreading out the fun. Some impressive cards, I've received. There's been the Snail Of Gemma, the Stamps of Hannah, the Meat Cake of Kikie and of course, the Favorite Things of Constanze Card by Jane. And Adam has sent me the most amazing gift of a nun, 10p, the Sun's latest topless lady, a copy of Harry Potter for PS1 despite me not having a PS1, and a beautiful, hand drawn picture of my future husband- A lion tamer. I feel popular to the EXTREME, with more extreme than all your extremities put together. Yeahhh.
Just my debaucherous birthday drinks to go tonight, as well as my 'photoshoot' for this thing the Eckmeister and I are doing (photos will be on here, so you can laugh at my disgusting posing...), and then I can sleep. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND INFINITY AND SOME MORE AND WOOHOOOOOOO SLEEPPPPPPPPP ICH BIN GOING TO SLEEP FOR ALLLLLLL OF TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Etc. I am very tired now. For some reason, my body woke up at half eight. And wouldn't go back to sleep. Despite the fact I am half asleep. Oh, I do not understand thee, body, thou makes little sense... I'll have a sexy afternoon nap. Then put on my amazing birthday outfit (Purple and pink Kimono top, green wig, green snakeskin shoes and black PVC skirt... (Yep, them're all the fashion crimes at once), jump on the bus and enjoy a nice Newky or two down't pub with all me homies. Toppty top.
So, yes, a very long post. Sorry about that.
I am off to enjoy a slice of Jane's delicious rainbow birthday cake. (Yum)^7. It really does have ALL OF THE COLOURS.
xXXxXXx
Friday, 13 August 2010
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Hello!
ReplyDeleteI decided to comment on this blog post, rather than the next one, because the next one is *SPOILER ALERT* sad.
It's really quite difficult to follow such an entry. So to this one!
Firstly, woooo! New pictures! Still looking as amazing as ever. You clearly have a favorite colour though. There are now 3 pictures ( yes, I counted them ), of you with black hair. I can't tell if it's a wig or not because looking at the picture of you before the body eating cancer - a small hair cut and a bit of colour, it's a look you could have managed.
Ok, it was an epic post, so, in the words of the King in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.". So that is what I shall do.
I think you need to work on your abstracts, lead people into the blog post as a whole. It's only useful practise for all those scientific papers you're going to have to your name in years to come.
Second paragraph, yay for teeth.
Good, now we come to birthday celebrations. Why is the twelfth not a good day for grouse? *SUSPENSE*
Ok, this reputation of yours seems to be quite overwhelming, but then, your doctors aren't running away at the sight of you, so you have to assume it's a good reputation to have. They have access to all your medical records, so maybe they've seen something in some blood work that suggests you're genetically predispossesed to being rich and happy and successful, and they just want to get on that band wagon now. Maybe? It would also account for the different doctor - share the wealth and all. One thing though, "went to Oxford", I thought you still go to Oxford ( you got in, and you haven't graduated have you? ). They didn't kick you out did they???
Sounds like you ran into normal hospital administration. Really useless most of the time, and occasionally they shine.
However, the rest of the birthday sounds good, despite some random presents. Photo shoot sounds interesting, I look forward to the pictures. Also, huge fashion faux pas, but you're ill, so like really *old* people, you can get away with it. ;) See what I did there? The brief quip about your age. Ah, I crack myself up. Pretty sure it's a sign of madness.
Till the next next post.