Tha' Fyrst Vampyre Who Lykered The Garliks..

Sweet jesus, whoever invented the sun clearly wasn't thinking about us leukaemiaish types. Sun and Stanze are not friends at the moment (Well, were they ever? I did't get skin this milky pale sunbathing, damnit!)- All this treatment leaves me hypersensitive to light, I'm burnt to a crisp in minutes. Mmm, crisps. Flame grilled steak... And I can barely see in the sun, I have to walk around, hands in front of me, desperately flailing... Add to that the fact that I have no heat regulation in my body due to my blood being made of ribena, then you get one Summer Hating Stanze. Oh, what I'd give to be back on Gdynia pier now... I mean, it may have been so cold half the capillaries in my face burst, but ANYTHING MUST BE BETTER THAN THIS HEATTTTT... It's such a predicament, the house is so hot, but, if I go outside, I will shrivel and die. And fairly soon Dracula, or, even better, Count Duckula is going to be calling round, asking if he can join my blood-guzzling, sun-avoiding black-wearing fun party. I've got nothing against vampires personally, but after seeing what I do to spoons (Nicky Henderson. As in she's the story, not a spoon.) with garlic, they might think again...

T'other day I had a lovely little trip to my local GP surgery. This meant going to the most replusive village in existence, Ashover, Calor Village Of The Year 2006. Technically, I sort of live in Ashover, only I don't really because I live in Kelstedge and that's for cool people only and I HATE ASHOVER. They got a visit from Prince Charles for winning that village thing, ergh, and even made a DVD. I hope it wasn't in HD. Although, a pensioner did compliment me on my skirt.

Anyway, so, yeah. I gots me the right doses of me lansoprazole. 15mg please, not 30. Thankyou. And set up a lovely repeat prescription for even more build up milkshake powder. I may invest in a cow to keep milk-related expenses down. It can talk to the cows in the field next door, so it shall not be a lonely cow. What else do cows need? Grass. Well, I live in rural Derbyshire, so that is proper sorted. And I'll take it for walks, like the farmers do downt' lanes. Actually, I think they might be moving them from field to field. Well, they are. I've helped moved cows before, many a time, they're such friendly animals, if not a little nosey. I remember walking past Old Joe's brown cow every Sunday and saying hello. I remember when that cow broke into our back garden, I just came home from school one day, and there was a cow, staring at me. And that day I got the tractor wheels stuck where there'd been a stampede of cows. And trying to push cows down hills as a rebellious youth. And that afternoon where I was cornered by a small herd of cows (Actually, that happens about once a month, but on this occasion they all started licking and slobbering all over me...). Ah, so many happy cow memories... ("SHIT SHUT UP with this thinking about cows or they'll all realise how rural you are, you Stupidstanze").

What was I talking about? Oh, yes, milkshakes. Yes. Milkshakes. Make me a tub tub again. I am now 8st 3 and a bit. This is good, although somewhat slow progress. This however, I feel, reflects my mind... Slowwwwww. I mean, it's all well and good winning these Excellence of Mind and Institute of Physics awards, but I can't make a cup of tea. All brain, no common sense. Pah, common sense is for people who don't want to break a limb. Actually, I've never broken a limb, so HA, put that in your pipe and theoretically smoke it because if you properly smoke it you'll get cancer and die slowly and painfully, sensible people. I WANT FAT. I WANT FAT ARSE. Constanze is starting to get very sick of all these weight loss adverts hanging around on telly and whatnot, I can assure you all, being as thing as Cheryl Cole is pretty horrible.

I watched a great program on the tv (Shock! Gasp! Yes, I learnt something from a medium other than a book!) a few nights ago, about how disability is portrayed on tv and stuff. A lot of valid points were made. Oh, illness, damn you. I remember the days when I was known for my stupid clothes/epic nerdiness/academic record/complete madness... Now, I'm just CancerGirl. I remember the days when people would say hello, not "How's everything going", along with some sympathising face. Everyone seems to have forgotten I have a disease of the body, not the mind. Suddenly, every move I make it's "Are you sure you can manage that?"... Do you think I'd be doing it if I couldn't? Oh, I know it's only because people are worried. I do have a life that isn't cancer though. I do have achievements other than (so far) not dying of leukaemia. I think I may be ranting, but I am not entirely sure. It's too hot. I need to buy a watermelon, so thirsty, but the sun is too strong...

The hospital still hate me. Not even Nick's phoned me... *sob*

Ah well, I think I shall wrap this up now. Typical scientist, indoors on a laptop on a sunny summer day like this...

xXXxXXx

P.s Constanze's Dating Tip Number 1- If you get talking to someone hot, don't kick them in the shins.