Delicious Fun Times.

I just got back from the most boring and uneventful day at hospital. Dial a blood, rather anaemic, Nick's on holiday, bla bla bla. So, here's what I wrote yesterday, because if I tell you any more about today you may well fall asleep...

Now then, the world has been unkind and cut my internet off, so I'm writing this having not read my last post, hence I shall probably do a small to medium sized amout of repeating myself... Sorry folks. It could be worse. I could be short.

I just spent the weekend in Oxford, which was mucho a loto fun and I saw all the cool peoples of the Magdalen, although it was also tiring and distressing and half killed me. I think I can sort it into lowlights and highlights, like they do with crappy sport on the news because no one could be arsed to watch the whole thing because sport is WANK. Not that my life is. My life gets at least 3Pi out of ten.

Highlights-
1. I went to see the Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disater. Constanze likes them very much and they were very good. I sat on some some weird platform because of my dodgy legs, complete with epic view, and NOW I CAN SAY I HAVE BEEN 1M FROM GUY MCNIGHT OMG WOWOWOWOWOW WOOOOHOOOOOOOO ETC. There was also a girl there with green hair, but mine was greener.
2. I had two Newcastle Brown Ales. If they won't cure me, nothing will. Either that or get me a hairy chest. And I was mashed. Cheap night out for Nobloodstanzes. Having no blood means it quickly fills up with alcomahols.
3. I obtained the milkiest groin in the whole of the South thanks to Helen's pouring skills and my incredible sense of logic. As Helen had a lot of milk about to go off, she offered me a glass. Simple task, I held the glass and she began to pour... But, I noticed a drip running down the side of the milk container, so, to stop it from dripping onto my favorite gay's carpet, I cleverly moved my glass to catch it. Sadly, I forgot Helen was still pouring, hence milk on me and chair and duvet and floor. Oops. Maybe this should have been a lowlight.
4. Pete
5. Delicious Panino. Not a panini, that's plural, fools.
6. Seeing that new film, Four Lions, and realising it's set in SHEFFIELD. WHERE I GETS ME TREATMENT. Yeahhhh. Terrorism ftw. Sort of.

Lowlights-
1. The train journey home. Many disablity related bad times happened. Including a stupid man chucking me out my seat because it was reserved, despite the fact the train was only a third full. Then there was a daft fiasco where they made me get off the train then run to get back on, so my legs collapsed and I spent 40 minutes on the floor next to a toilet being harassed by a very greasy only mildly helpful sugar daddy type man who thought I was beautiful.
2. Sticking half of my possessions to Patrick's wall with medical tape. I now have little medical tape, and even fewer posessions.
3. Being forgotten. My good friend James Grover didn't have a clue who I was when I bumped into him. Quote "Who's this? I haven't met you." I thought he was joking, but then it dawned on me... He was truely confused... I suppose the new green hair and skinny figure could've masked my true identity, but come on, he lost his Rocky Horror virginity to me! I have been tied to him! All those late nights of D&D in Worcester College! Sigh. At least he feels very, very guilty. He he he.
4. Pete's fly
5. Embarassing myself on the train. I keep everything in my bra, safety first... The ticket inspector had already been round, so I'd put my ticket in my bra ready to get out of the station. However, they changed staff, and I got asked to show it again. After attracting a lot of attention thinking I'd lost it, I then remebered just where it was. Producing my return ticket from my chest, I got a lot of strange looks...

SHIT I've stolen one of James' socks. Don't tell him.

And now, I am super knackered and tireder than someone very very tired. And my legs won't straighten. But, I do smell of bluebells.

I went to hospital last Wednesday and waited SIX HOURS for my transport because they'd told me the wrong bum faced time. Nothing exciting happened, mostly due to the fact I didn't even get to see the doctor because the transport had been booked for the wrong time, hence my blood wasn't back in time. So, little to report there. Oh, and I had my nebuliser of horrible doom, which made me sick twice and I (you) shook (me all night long) for ages.

Got told off by another pensioner. This time I was committing the very serious offence of not wearing my coat... Oh, my rebelious life. I am the Motley Crue of Cancer. Yeah, that's right, I'm rebellious enough to match the WHOLE of Motley Crue. Stanze, Stanze, Stanze.

And some inconsiderate pensioner lady made me move while waiting for my transport. I was lying down, feeling very woozy and vibrating, taking up two seats. She asked me to move, despite the fact there were loads of free seats around. People just look at me, all young, and presume I'm healthy and they get priority. People shove me and push me in the street, moan when I walk slowly, drop doors on me, and it just wouldn't happen if I was elderly. Then again, what I can I do? I can hardly walk around with a big sign saying "WATCH OUT CANCER ABOUT".

Coming up to one year of cancer. Any excuse for a party, I say. What should the theme be? "Fuck yeahhh, I'm not dead?"... Um. Maybe...

Hospital tomorow. Up early. What raves and madnesses shall occur on the haemo ward tomorow? Only time will tell...

xXXxXXx

P.s Tales of Agriculture.
P.P.S Horse of the Dog.
P.P.P.S Spare Ribs.
P.P.P.P.S Travancore.
P.P.P.P.P.S The Wildhearts.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S These are a few of my favorite things.