Why Hello There... Long Time, No See!

Yes, it has been many days since I wrote about my cancers and haemogoblins and whatnot... But do I have some news to make up for it! I have found about about no less that two more medical deformities in the past couple of days, made some impressive blood AND solved the mystery of the missing period... Oh yes. Constanze 3-Cancer 0!

So, I hope you are all prepared for just how amazing I am. Yes, I did it. For the first time since getting ill my platelet count has gone over 100! Winwinwin. Yours is probably about 300, but you're just showing off. My white blood cell count is up, and my haemogoblin is the saaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeee. Loooooook at allllllllllllllll my bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! So much. I could power half of Chesterfield off it...

And my two new deformities I hear you ask? Well, those of you who know me intimately or watch me change through my window will have noticed the strange dint at the top my my bum. Richard Sillett bullies me mucho for it. I asked a doctor, in the hope of it being a genuine medical condition, hence teasing me would be EVEN CRUELER STILL. Turns out it's a harmless spine deformity call Spinula Somethingorother... Not very impressive. More common in men, they get strange hair growing out of it... But a genuine, hardcore medical condition! And, upon placing a probe up my vagina (Another glamorous cancer time), they noticed a cyst on my right ovary, which is probably where my last perdiod went. Again, fairly common and harmless. Nowhere near as epic as the Leukaemia.

I self-injected for the first time today. Nurse taught me. Shoving needles in my stomach. Every morning for nearly a fortnight... Not as bad as it sounds actually, pretty painless. I just got a bit over excited getting the air out the needle, I sprayed it everywhere like the mad scientist kiddy killers in films. I have to right squeeze my fat. I do not have the stomach rolls required. Damn beautiful figure of mine...

Ooo, I also had another bone marrow sample taken. That was ow. And it keeps weeping orange stuff which doesn't taste good when licked.

Anyway, I am most sleepy. And tomorow I get to see my homie Eleanor, which is good times. She is very pretty, so I need to get my beauty sleep to keep up with her!

xXXx