New shoes and The Philadephia Gene... A very exciting combination...

Doctors have been suspecting it for a long time...

But...

I am actually made of win.



WELL, Ladies and Gentlemen, do I have some news for you. Not being content with having a disease very rare for my age, I've gone and got you an even rarer chromosone defect! His name is the Philadephia Chromosone and he sounds very impressive. This is also quite good news as it means I can be treated by tablet, which starts this evening, either alongside, with, or INSTEAD OF CHEMOTHERAPY. Which could be good. But I can't get too excited, ther's a big meeting early next week with lots and lots of doctors and nurses and clever people when I'll know a lot lot more about their intentions for my wonderful self.

Hmm. A lot has gone on these past 28 hours. I had an ultrasounds to check I have a liver. I do. I've never been so covered in lube!

One minute, I have to go and piss in a pot. Cancer is so damned glamourous. Some lady wants to check I'm not pregnant. I HAVE NO BABY. THERE IS NO BABY. THE BLOOD TEST I HAD THE OTHER DAY PROVED I HAD NO BABY. NOT EVEN HALF OF ONE. Oh well. I suppose my urine is pretty cool, perhaps she wants to take it home for her kids to play with. Or make ice lollies with. Waittttt.... That's fairly disgusting. I wrote it now, too late. I think this blog is probably a bit too like me in real life... You lucky things.

Also today, I pulled my tv off the wall! We have tvs on massive robotic arms, they're weighed down with lead and are generally quite huge and heavy. I went to rearrange mine and it decided to make a run for it. It came off in my hands, I had to hold it up, and scratch at my window through the blinds, all the nurses rushed in thinking I was dying. Had it have fallen off when I was sleeping I would have had A LOT of broken bones. And I could've sued the hospital! And made millions, and finally bought that ice cream van...

Today was also my first of three days of freedom, that term meaning I'm allowed out of hospital during the day as long as I'm accompanied. Obviously, I had to break this rule to go shoe shopping all by my tod this morning. I may have cancer, but I'll be damned if I can't buy heels. I got some 65 quid blue snakeskin numbers for 8 because the buckel was broken, then went to the cobblers and wangled myself some new buckles for free... All I have to do now is sew them on, and hey presto! I am Queen of the Cheapskates. Yeah. My mother brought me up a scratter, ahaha... But look at me have 57 pounds more than you. Who's winning now?

Nearly got run over by a bus today. Now, that would have been impressive, bllod cancer one week and major trauma the next. I stepped out of its path JUST in time. After a lot of honking, dancing and confusion.

Sorry, I can't stop thinking about my sexy new Philadelphia Chromosone. I like saying it, writing it... It is definitly a very cool chromosone. I should probably be less happy that I have buggered up chromosones, but you know me, I almost think the Leukaemia's a good thing. Although the cheese jokes have already started, so don't think you're being witty or origonal. Rachel got in there first, she was there when I got told. It was funny then. Rich came in with a lukewarm second, but since then... Not good times for the laughing bone in my body...

Ooo, and I not have a three bedroomed apartment on the sixteenth floor... In other words, I got moved into my own room. The wheeled my bed and they wheeled my chest of drawers and now I am in a room of my very own.(The night Max wore his wolf suit...)... I am however missing Michelle and our occasional banter. There's an elderly lady in my bed now. She is both elderly and a lady. I am yet to chat to her, I may go and force myself upon her later. AHAHAHAHA. I am using a lot of capitals today... They are a good invention... People who don't use them properly should be shot. Mind you, it's not as bad as apostrophe misuse. They need to be hung, drawn, slapper and quartered... People who can't spell are fine though. The best kind are those who can't spell their own illness, like a certain Leukaemia sufferer I know. who isn't called Constanze... 'Ah, I think I fooled them... Oh, crap, my thoughs are spreading onto the computer screen again... Don't think about the parrots again, Eleanor will be angry. That service must be patented before you can spread the joyous word!...'

I think that may be all that is of interest, I'm really not sure what's eciting and what's not. I have such a tough audience... Oh, I got the promise of a 'special cancer discount' on a dress from some strange Indian man who was trying to flog me a dress and asking me lots of questions, he saw the candula in my arm. Speaking of which, that's the most painful thing yet, they left it in too long and it's made a quite owful swollen lump. Sexy.

Over and out peeps! I have a date with a sexy lady. Her name is Lindsey, and she has a great arse, and I have known her for 8 long years and she is very cool and she came to see me on the day I was diagnosed and I is love her very lots and lots.