I'm Really Definitely Not Dead Duck

Hi all,

Just a little check in to let you know I haven't popped my clogs and gone to the afterlife. I am still here, on Earth and cancering hard. Or rather not. It's very strange, hospital haven't given me a plan and keep forgetting to phone me back which is really rather un-nerving and not like them at all. I'm really not sure what's going on. Perhaps they're stalling because of the dangers involved. Maybe I'll phone them tomorrow. Eggs and bacon. I don't want to hassle hoff hassle them.

I will write a proper post soon. I actually wrote one a few weeks ago but as soon as I pressed save it all got turned into a goo of gobblydegoooop and cat piss and I was a sleepy and could not retrieve so all of the words became dead and unalive and not like a Schrodinger. I'm really honestly not sure why I haven't written much of late, I'm just such a huge busy bee with work and my gran's detriorating health and stuff I never get around to anything in the universe. Plus my lack of interesting anything cancer wise. Me and my borrrrring cancer. Yawnsome. Are you yawnsome tonight?

It's almost approaching my six year anniversary now. I really can't believe I'm still alive sometimes. I look back and stare into the haze of needles and wonder why this all happened to me and why I've never much minded it. Why it breaks most people it hits and why to me it's just been an inconvenient laugh. I guess I'm just not a fearful person. I don't see my cancer as a big scary negative thing, just a thing to work into my life like a surprise baby or poor qualiry saucepans. As I've said time and time again, I meet a thousand miserable healthy people every day and I know for sure I'd have it my way around. But six years. No one has cancer for six years. There's a reason they say I don't do things by halves, roflcoper lols etc :)

We also lost another lovely member of the Sheffield cancer crew this week. Now when I look back through my facebook photos there are ones with more dead people in than alive people. What an unusual way to be 24 years old.

I remain the luckiest girl in the world.

Bye bye bye and hay and fudge,
Constanze the reflective mysterious mental :)

P.s I'm going on holiday to Eastern Ukraine and Georgia in May. Just because I don't have enough war in my life already, superlaffz. Excited beyond comprehension.