Canons at the ready!

Oh, what a week, what a year. What a time, what a life. It's a bit like being in the eye of a tornado lately, I'm in this cancery quiet peaceful zone while all my hospital friend's battles fly manically around me. The rug's been pulled out from under the feet of a lot of my cancer homies in the most awful way possible recently, there's just a storm of bad news for everyone. The Grim Reaper is just sitting on our shoulders, occasionally giving us little scares and big scares and twists and torments to remind is that we're not as invincible as medical science would have us believe. Not that I have any less optimism about everything and everyone, it's just these past few weeks, just as we think we've all got out of the sinking ship alive we realise there's a few million hungry sharks and crocodiles hanging around. I can't go into much detail because of people's privacy but in the past month or so there three of my major cancer friends have been given some form of awful news. But we shall battle on through with our swords and shields and infinite drip stands. There were too many poor analogies in this paragraph and as if cancer isn't bad enough we all have to put up with my terrible descriptions. Ah, bother.

I'm just remarkably alive. 36% of women live five years after a leukaemia diagnosis, I'm overjoyed to have made it to almost four. I'd just give anything to have everyone I've met along the way to be here to celebrate it with me. Oh, my kingdom to be able to snap my fingers and we can all make blood again and nothing grows where it shouldn't and we can all meet up without someone being sick. Gosh, I am being very emo this evening. Everything will be fine. Everything always is fine if you wish hard enough.

I am very tired of late. Work is really fucking the fuck out of me. Going a bit sleepiness insane, I accidentally left a face mask on for over four hours yesterday and spent too long just riding around Manchester in circles on the free city centre bus. My left eye is leaking pus at an alarming rate and my right knee no longer appears to do such things as bend or support my weight. Maybe I am in the hurricane after all! My own little wind tunnel. Jeeez, stop with the analogies already. Mind you, sometimes windy weather brings good things, I once had a really cool CCTV sticker stick itself to me on a blustery roundabout. I'm not sure where this is going. The only place I know anything is going is BED AND THAT'S ME WOOHOO MEGA PARTY.

It's all a big battle. A big big battle. Sometimes there are cookies, sometimes there are blows. But there are always smiles :)

Night night world,
Constanze :) xXx

P.s My face has been swelling some more. Before you ask, it was BEFORE I left half of the Dead Sea on there for most of Saturday. Oops.

P.p.s Why do late effects not want to make me a clinic appointment? I want to discuss all my late effects. ALL OF THEM AHAHAHAAH MAWAJDJDJSJ!!!! It is DEFINITELY BEDTIME!!!!!