Like me they were fun with a nutty hairdo

It's just caught up with me. Creeped up behind me and pounced like a kitten who swallowed a spring. Appeared like a ghost who forgot his wallet. I am completely and utterly exhausted. Since I got home from Cheshire I've actually been asleep for more hours than I've been awake. It turns out I can exist on autopilot for longer than I realised; I guess this is good in a way but now my battery is in minus numbers and the addition of many sorts of meat now means that I'm approaching absolute zero energy and may implode. Or fall asleep. I'm putting my money on the latter.

But anyway, lots of everything has been happening since my last post (which was a whole ten days ago, whoops), lots of jingles and lots of bells. My trial job has come to an end and they've offered me a longer trial (3 months) which is very exciting (I am slightly employable even though I make more health and safety hazards than everyone else ever combined) but also creates a whole host of other general malarky. I'd have to move house properly and stuff to do it but I'm so groggy now that I can barely motivate myself to go and get my tablets (whinge whine whinge, I do apologise for being so whingey today), let alone pack anything. I will do it. Probably. Stupid moraxella (yes, I still have the bloody moraxella hanging around) bullying my lungs and making my brain go spinning. There are a few things to consider, mainly:

1. I have cancer. I am poorly. But I may be poorly for a long time/forever and I don't want to waste my life away eating crisps and folding balls. I want to waste my life away eating crisps and looking at stamps!

2. The company is situated in probably the worst location possible. One the outskirts of a very posh and rather small town, nowhere near the train station. A normal person could walk it but OF COURSE I AM WEIRD AND SEXY AND CANCERY. There is a bus that sort of helps but if I get a job then I think they'll take my bus pass away. I don't know, my legs are silly and these are all things I need to look up but they keep putting Murder, She Wrote on and it's distracting!

3. I know all the numbers so I could get a really well paid job in banking or being a programmer instead. But everyone I know who does these things are really fucking miserable and I am not miserable and money is about as important to me as as high heels are to bumble bees. I never did understand why people seem to interpret me not wanting to earn a lot of money as having no motivation. I want to do well in life and see all of the things and do all the stuff, I just want to have all the adventures in a second hand caravan.

4. I'd move to Stockport and last time I went through Stockport there were two fights on one thirty minute train journey. Despite being a hardcore Northerner I'm not convinced I can take on so many aggresive drunk people, maybe I'll have to get a pet bear to protect me. Or an ostrich. Or a narwhal!

I've had an awesome weekend though. Awesome? Since when have I been a promoter of Americanisms? I've had a jolly spiffing weekend by jove me duck. It's been really cool seeing some epic people but also saying some sad goodbyes. So yeah. Life and all that jazz!

Time for more sleep now. Too many thoughts and too much to ponder and too many lamb chops to digest.

Before I go I'd just like to say a mucho Merry Christmas all! I'm sure we'll speak before 2013 but if we don't then have a jolly guten nuevo anno too! But remember kids; don't get too drunk or you'll end up as damn unhealthy as me in 40 years. Although no matter how much you drink you'll never have a head that's 0.5cm wider than average so maybe you're alright really. I don't know. Just have fun and party like it's 1990, the year that our glorious cancer patient was first born and Windows 3.0 came out. BEAUTIFUL. RAVE.

Constanze :) xXxXx