Awkward Haemo

Oh my word cancer in the real world is getting awkward. So very awkward. It's so hard to explain to new people; the scenario, the deal, the current situation. If I say I'm cured I'm lying. If I say I'm not cured I'm lying. If I explain the full situation then we're there for five minutes and everyone has PLACES TO BE THEY'RE INTERESTED IN CANCER BUT NOT SO INTERESTED THAT THEY WANT TO MISS HALF THEIR LUNCH HOUR. What do I do? What do I say? It's currently like this:

~~the conversation has turned, I now have to confess to having the canceriness~~

"I have/had/semihave leukaemia"

"Oh my god, are you alright now?"

"Well, basically I have a dodgy chromosome and a rare form of leukaemia. Now, the only way to cure my leukaemia was to give me a bone marrow transplant. I needed a donor and they found one in Germany. The transplant happened and the ideal is to have bone marrow that's entirely German. My bone marrow is currently 98% German and 2% my bone marrow. Anything above 97% is considered a technical cure. BUT there is still 2% of my bone marrow left which would make cancer if I didn't take some special tablets. So 2% of me is trying desperately to make cancer but failing because my superhero drug dasatinib hits it around the head with a spade."

*How very concise NOT! The person I'm talking to is now even more confused than before. As am I. As is everyone.*

"So..... Are you cured then?"

"Sort of, I don't have the foggiest, not a fucking clue my dear! I'm not cancer free and skipping around but I am out of the woods as one would say by jove"

As you can see, it's complicated. I need to find a way to explain that I'm not completely cured but I'm also not not cured because I am technically cured but there's still this slightly annoying 2% ruining the party. I'm just not going to die in the next ten minutes. Because that's so much of a better introduction, OH HI MY NAME'S CONSTANZE AND I GUARANTEE THAT I WON'T DIE FOR AT LEAST 600 SECONDS.

But anyway, less of my silly problems and more of the hardcore hospital news. There was another new lady doctor who I asked about my legs and didn't seem too interested, I mean, she gave them a feel (and asked me if I used to be a ballerina because of my feet again, I do wish people would stop asking me that, my hips are four feet wide and I'm about as dainty as a concrete block) and told me to take up cycling. Yeah, I'd love to but also walking is really fucking hard and if I cycle for 20 minutes I'll be unable to move for days. Maybe cycling would be something good for the future but seriously? I do get a bit sick of people thinking because I make the effort to look well that I am well. I know it's confusing but blerg. Anyway, she went to check something with Snowden and he came in to see me which I was really happy about as he knows me and knows that I don't make a fuss about nothing. He immediately said I needed to see a physiotherapist and have my lung tests redone and maybe also having another metabolic bone scan on my legs. There's probably also a degree of general treatment related damage, let's not forget that chemo and radio don't really do wonders for the joints.

My last chimerism result was also back and it's stayed at 98% (come onnn, so slowww). My bloods were fine but my iron had dropped (that's not a problem though unless it's low again next time). It's still the same general plan as ever, just watch and wait. Watch tumbleweed and drying paint. I then tried to get my blood taken but a lady had passed out on C floor so the room had been evacuated. Oh, the drama! They also had all of my mediations in stock so I don't have to go back to hospital, what a luxury :) I'd have been in and out of the hospital in two hours if it wasn't for the unfortunate funny turn of an elderly lady!

Bedbedbed now. I feel a bit sick at the minute and need to go to sleep. I've been fighting a bit of a nasty virus all week and I'm really happy to report that my body has been fighting pretty damn well. Apart from my stupid face swelling up again, my eye looked like a sexy bunch of grapes on Thursday. Ooo, who's a sexy fruit?

GO TO SLEEP BRAIN,
Constanze the Great :) xXx

P.s I saw James May in a pub. Actually, that's a lie, some people I was with saw James May in a pub so I had a neb but didn't go and talk to him. Mainly because I hate cars and I didn't want to just be like so yeah, I hate everything you do, it was nice meeting you, bye loser. He was also pretty pissed and I'm a bit sick of alcohol at the minute. And smoking. And obesity. I know, I'm always sick of these things but I've been extra sick lately. Do these people not understand that they're all going to get cancer and die? Like, properly get cancer and die?

P.p.s It also dawned on me that I've now gone past the 10000 tablet boundary. 10,000! And the druggy of the year award goes to... ME!