The Perfect Drug

Yo yo yo. I hope you're enjoying the picture of me with the biggest bit of galena I've ever laid eyes upon. Yummy galena, it's the best of all the lead minerals.If I loved getting better from cancer as much as I love rocks then I'd be a damn healthy woman!

I'm not sure much has actually happened since my last post, I can't even remember what I wrote in my last post, I've been asleep ever since I wrote it and like those pen things on the Men in Black my memory gets wiped every time I close my eyes.I did have some horrendous is-that-my-bone-marrow-I-suspect-it-is back pain, right in the spot where all the sexy action happens. Although I do get that from time to time and shit all has changed bone marrow wise for a year so perhaps it's just me and my wishful thinking.

I've been in another pensive and pensiver mood this past week or two, the old, "Ooo, I still have cancer, how amusing/hilarious/inconvinient" routing that likes to play in my head every now and then, kind of like a dodgy old VCR. I am a sexy old granny trapped in a prudish young woman's bum with a head. What? I talk about the menopause far too freely to far many people. It would seem half the people I meet know I don't get periods anymore before they even learn my name :S It is one of the best things about me, remember, you can shag Constanze every day of the month. My name's pretty good too, but you can't shove your cock in that.

Actually, speaking of the menopause, the review for my HRT tablets is coming up.I get to answer lots of fun menopause related question, yay! How's your mood? How's your fanny? How're your tits? Been feeling them lots? LOTS? HAVE YOU FOUND ANY LUMPS HAVE YOU GOT BREAST CANCER? No? Ok then. At least that's what it was like last time. Always with the over enthusiastic have you been feeling yourself properly and how have you been feeling yourself questions. I mean, come on, I have very small boobs, if I get breast cancer I'll definitely notice, the cancer will be seven times bigger than both my boobs put together! Ergh, if I have one more middle aged woman try to have a go on my tits pretending she's teaching me how to check them for the cancers I might vom. I know, already, and a million times over. I search everywhere for cancer, and if I find it, you'll be the first to know ;)

My hickman line scar also leaked a bit of pus the other day which was a bit weird. It's not done it since the operation and I'm hoping it was just a little ploy to get some attention, I must admit, I haven't been raving about my scar as much recently. I still love it as much as ever, I'm just focusing my energies on the next one :D Anyone got an angry grizzly handy?

Argh, my life is weird. I often just sit back and laugh at the improbability of my situation. It's madness. Madness of the Cancer Express. There's a world that's not cancer? What a lie, what a lie. The world is cancer, a lovely big ball of delicious cancer. I feel as if the world's become a big penicillin V tablet, all round and a crust of not sugar, why do kids get sugar and I don't wankers. I'm so tired. Why am I even talking? I shouldn't be allowed near a computer when I've only had 10 hours sleep, I get all wtf wtf wtf keysssss cancer woo party sleep now not now keeeeeyssss!!!

I can't even remember when I'm in hospital next. I think it's Wednesday, but I should probably find out. They're going to take more blood and I neeeeeeeed it. But oooh, maybe the lazy buggers in the blood analysis department might have actually worked out me chimerism and we'll know how cured I am! Bangin'!

To finish, here's me on a bench, near some flies and a funny smell, outside the beautiful Hallamshire hospital. Note my amazing Yaroslavl tshirt, I RULE.

Stanzistan. xXx