I must be out of my cancery mind.

Impressive stuff people, I'm back from hospital and it's only quarter to two! Today was one of the most efficient cancery hospital trips I've ever made, seriously, I wandered from one department to another flawlessly, like a well oiled saucepan.

My day started early as usual waiting hopefully for someone to pick me up. At around half eight this happened and a medicar driver (who I'd never met before, shock, horror!) and another patient from somewhere near Clay Cross appeared. He'd fallen off the bottom step of a stepladder and lost a leg. True story. Upon getting to hospital it soon dawned on me that I'd got there somewhat earlier than usual and the hospital was a dead as a doormouse. Eventually it filled up a bit and a few barmy-blooded people appeared and we all sat about talking. There was a bit of a cringeworthy moment when a guy in a wheelchair and his wife arrived- one of the nurses said 'oh, we were just talking about you!' and a patient laughed 'were your ears burning?'... Then he turned round. He didn't have any ears.

Then, to my appointment. The new doctor (he's not really new anymore, I knowww) had a medical student shadowing him, so he had to brief her as to what was wrong with me, using such technical terminology as 'then she had some treatment'. He didn't seem too interested in the pus factory that is my left eye, so that's just going to be left to fester for a while. Like a fine wine. My chimerism (in English that's how much German-ness live inside my bone) had gone up to 95% (YES. GOOD BONE MARROW), reminding the world that I am good at everything, including growing copious amounts of foreign bone marrow. The only bad thing however is that I still don't appear to have any lungs. I managed to talk myself into an extra appointment to have them checked again. Well done, Constanze.

After rambling down the corridor and booking myself in for some good old breathing tests (The same ones they made me do again because my lungs are so crap they thought I hadn't been trying properly) I went to have a tube or five of blood taken out my arm. And what a surprise awaited me! Just 38 people ahead of me in the queue. Just a 50 minute wait. I normally have to take a tent...

... The same applies with waiting to be taken home. I normally get enough time to lie down and have a 2 or 3 hour sleep before someone even thinks of taking me back to the old Shire of Derby, but today, my medicar driver had arrived perfectly one time (he had gone for a wee, but this only added an extra two minutes to my day. In the brand new Hallamshire toilets. I waited months for them to be ready... I was so excited to have a new toilet to wee in. And they're RUBBISH. Just like they were before, but a bit more sickly coloured and they now smell like chlorine floor sanitiser...). And so home I went. And home I am.

7 days of peace and quiet now. Then, back to the noise and a few nice tubes shoved in me gob. Yay?

Constanze.

XxX